haunted - 8

October

I only have those letters as scraps, carefully concealed in the most public place that no one will ever think to look. This is where my memory begins, and I think by now you know why I'm never some kid from southeast Indy, no, I'm always from someplace too far away for anyone to bother to check out, sometimes Houston, sometimes Oregon or Seattle or Miami or Charleston.

I took his offer and those guys were scary motherfuckers but they were also smart and I got a system that seemed like magic to them but for me it wasn't much at all, in the end they were just shocked I made them like $50k in two weeks and they gave me, us, $5k. I stuck it in my jar because neither of us can really open a bank account. Not til we're eighteen which is a year and nine days for me and nine months for him. And even then there's gonna be lots of questions so idk if we will. I just wanna make enough so we can pay cash on a decent car and buy us a house someplace way up north like Vermont or New Hampshire or Maine where no one is gonna find us and we can do our thing there. I hate Brooklyn, it's so fucking big and dirty and this just makes me more impatient.

I miss moms so much. It's every night in my dreams and I wish I had more than Joey's diary to remind me of what I did to Paul, I wish I remembered it for real, I wish I could do it again and again only slower so he got even a fraction of the pain he's caused me and us.

It's snowing a bit just flurries but I love October cos that's Halloween month not like decorations and stupid shit just all the stuff bout ghosts yanno. And Joey got back home this Friday and he had a surprise for me that's well just the best surprise.

'They'll be here in two hours,' he says.
'Who?'
'It's a surprise. Dress warm and let's get a pizza in the meantime.'
And that's a big splurge but fuck we order from Jimmy's which is just awesome pizza dripping cheese and overflowing with pepperoni and mushrooms and hot peppers and he even got beer delivered, shit three beers will knock me over. For some reason he got a case but I don't ask. He's enjoying the beer with his pizza which ugh I can't drink beer with anything but a burger so I suck down my Coke Zero and fuck this pizza is like a melting orgasm it's so good.

I don't know how we managed to kill the whole eighteen inch pizza but well if you've ever had Jimmy's you'd know. Even if you're full there's no way to stop and at the end you still want more. I've eaten it several times and I could easily go til I puke it's just that good.
There's a horn and Joey collects the beer and I stuff all kinds of warm things including our blanket into the bag with flashlights and he tells me to grab the old Coleman we bought used at some sad sale off Myrtle and I'm curious what he has planned.

There's a giant black limo waiting there and I stop for a minute before I realize this is our ride and jump in and I'm almost knocked unconscious by the biggest thing of flowers I've ever seen with a card that says 'happy fourth anniversary I love you but really its more like our seventeenth isn't it?'

I've never been in a limo to start and now this and the car is moving and I can't stop crying cos I know he works for a party company but this just means so much even if it's way too much.

'Do you like it?' he asks and I say yes but the lights of New York are fading fast and it seems like forever before the limo stops and the driver exchanges words with Joey about picking us up I guess though I'm just staring at where we are and it's the spookiest fucking place I've ever seen. It looks like some sort of abandoned castle before I see the crumbling sign that says 'Penitentiary' and some guard guy is unlocking a gate for us.

This place has got be the scariest I've been. The guard leads us someplace and we get set up and the Coleman lit. The guard is long gone and fuck if I were here alone I'd be going insane cos I keep hearing shit when I know it's just me and him here, like bars rattling and I even think a voice in the distance.

There's a loud pop which almost sends me flying before I realize the sneaky bastard has champagne. I drink a lot cos well it's one thing to watch ghosts on TV but now I feel like they're really all around me.

'Do you wanna walk around?' he says and I know he's got some plan just not sure what it is so I say okay even though I just want a very soundproof blanket to hide under til dawn with him next to me.

After all he's given up and done for me I would follow him into lava. But fuck this place is just so creepy the flashlight is barely flickering off the crumbling walls and rusting bars of open cells. I don't get the feeling a lot of people escaped from here even in death.

There's a sign that says 'Infirmary' and Joey says let's go in. Even though this place must be shut like thirty years it still smells of antiseptic and death. Joey gets me to lie on the stainless steel bed and it's just so fucked up that it's turning me on which is even more fucked up cos now he's undoing my jeans just enough and his are totally off and he jumps on me. I close my eyes and this is kinda hard to explain cos when I fuck him it's like...I don't even know. It's just like the whole world gets perfect at once and ya it's cold as fuck in here but I'm warm inside here and I feel like ghosts are watching us so I only let him ride me a bit before I flip him over and ya it's totally dark now cos I killed the flashlight so it's just us and the darkness and the ghosts. Fuck I never thought anything could get me so horny at the same time so scared shitless, and I have to slow down cos it's so awesome I came a bit before I thought but I keep it going just stare at the falling snow through the rusty bars of the small square window above us.

In the back of my mind is this creeping question of wondering how many bad men died on this very guerney.

I try to slow down, but it doesn't work so good. I cum and cum like thirty minutes in and I try to roll over, totally forgetting how small this metal slab was and almost feel like I was back to the big bed I had as a sixteen year old kid the first time we did it, totally forgetting this is the first time he's wanted me to fuck him or let me, the first time I really wanted to cos it always felt much safer the other way around for me.

He pulls on his jeans and zips me up and now he's dragging me somewhere else and not even using the flashlight now I'm so fucking creeped I keep hearing shit and spinning around expecting to be staring at something I don't want to see. Then he pushes a door open and wow if I thought ghosts of murderers and rapists were scary this is much more. It's a chapel and before I know it he's down on one knee.

'Will you marry me?' he asks and I'm like well isn't that obvious of course. Something crashes just after I say 'I do' and that's enough for both of us, we're running back to the relative safety of our base camp, just hoping nothing is chasing us.

Later we cuddle up naked and I can't sleep cos I keep hearing shit that sounds way too close for comfort, footsteps, whispers, clanging, and there's shadows running around sometimes I swear I feel something icy drift over out bodies which makes every hair stand up. My boyfriend, my best friend ever too, just proposed to me in the absolute scariest place I've ever been..

Of course I said yes cos that means Joey gets me better than anyone ever will, cos that's the most romantic thing I could ever imagine anyone doing.